


Shapeshifting (But Bad)

by GammaOverdose



Series: All There Is To It [1]
Category: Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Incredible Hulk (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Body Horror, Bruce Banner Has Issues, Bruce Banner-centric, Depression, Dissociation, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Family, Gen, Identity Issues, Introspection, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-05
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2020-04-08 04:11:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19099492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GammaOverdose/pseuds/GammaOverdose
Summary: Banner's face changes with the days, it seems.





	Shapeshifting (But Bad)

**Author's Note:**

> This is only roughly-edited, and unbeta'd. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy, and as always, read the tags for any warnings.

His face changes, on the regular. 

 

On some level, it's a survival mechanism, a way to never be recognized, even as a wanted man. 

 

On another, it's something deeper; a glaring, physical reminder that  _he_ doesn't even know who he is. 

 

Some days, he'll wake up, and his features will be more wide-set, his brows stronger, his eyes a little more on the hazel side. It means Hulk is close, and it's then where the lines are blurred and his head is cloudy, and he can't tell where he ends and Hulk begins. 

 

But some days, he's just… different, and there's no explanation as to  _ why _ . His physical appearance is ever-shifting, as fluid as his sense of self, and he's not sure if he's grateful for the external validation, or absolutely terrified of it.

 

One thing's for sure: Life can't seem to even afford him the luxury of recognizing himself in the mirror. 

 

It was hard enough before the incident, but nowadays, it's even worse. He tends to avoid them.

 

More often, now, when he accidentally parses a glance, it's just Devil staring right back at him. He _hopes_ it has something to do with the green door, with some environmental factor like the rotation of the stars and planets, something physical that he can parse out mathematically. 

 

In reality, he thinks he's probably hallucinating, delusional enough to think this makes sense, somehow, that there's some pattern in it all that he just hasn't figured out yet. It wouldn't be the first time, and it certainly won't be the last. He accepted the fact that he was crazy when he was sixteen and found his pre-calculus notes defaced with angry handwriting and desperate clawmarks on his upper arms.

 

Devil laughs at him, and it only proves his point. 

 

When he's not on the run, it's more stable. When he feels more like himself, he  _ looks _ more like himself, but nowadays stability is so rare it's a pipe dream, and he's pretty sure it never happened in the first place. 

 

Though six months later, he stays at Jen's place - after a lot of over-explaining and a birthmark and the scars on his torso and childhood memories only they share - all unnecessary, of course, because whoHe  _ else _ would show up at her door at three A.M desperate and tattered and in dire need of a shower - and his appearance returns to normal in a matter of weeks. 

 

He notices it one morning while brushing his teeth and suddenly he's laughing and crying and touching his face, until the sound of a chopper overhead sends him into a panic attack and then his hair is too dark and his cheekbones too high and his eyes a little too sharp and  _ Devil-ish _ for comfort.

 

He barks a laugh; it's just a fact of life at this point. His only consistency is  _ inconsistency _ .

He makes breakfast, explains his new face to Jen with a wave of his hand and an awkward grin, and she's concerned for him, but there's blueberry pancakes on the griddle and he's humming to himself and despite it all, it feels like the most normal thing in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. There'll be more added to this series as time goes on.
> 
> Feel free to leave a comment or review. They're always appreciated. :)


End file.
